10 Things You Can Do Today, To improve Your Relationship With Your Husband
Life with a partner can be a beautiful whirlwind – shared laughter, teamwork through challenges, and the comforting presence of your favorite person. But let's be honest, even the strongest bonds can become worn amidst daily routines and hectic schedules.
The good news? Rekindling the spark doesn't require grand gestures. In this post, we'll explore 10 simple, playful ways to keep your connection strong and the love flowing, reminding you why you fell for each other in the first place.
1. Tell your husband you are grateful for what they provide for your family.
If they work long hours, express how grateful you are for how hard they work to provide money for the family. If they are the sole caregiver to your kids and house, tell them how much you appreciate them for how well they handle everything in the household and still get dinner on the table every night.
Showing appreciation goes a long way and not only will your husband feel loved and valued, but actively searching for things to be grateful for will deepen your own feelings of appreciation for him and your relationship.
2. Send your husband a loving and/or flirty text.
Life gets busy, and sometimes the spark in your relationship needs a little rekindling.
Remind your husband that he is loved and that you still want him.
Life with kids can get hectic, and with the daily todo list that comes with adulting,
romance sometimes gets pushed aside. This is a sweet reminder to your husband that
you still see him, you still love him, and the flame is waiting to be rekindled.
3. Take one of your husbands “to do's” and do it for him.
Let's be honest, sometimes marriage can feel like a never-ending to-do list. I can definitely catch myself thinking, “why should I do one more thing? I already do everything for everyone!”.
You get to a point where you are tallying up all you do in a day and comparing it to your spouse’s list. This tit for tat isn’t good for any relationship. Partnerships are stronger without scorecards.
Instead, think of how you can take something off your spouses plate as a small way to say 'thank you' for everything you handle. We're in this together." How happy would you be if he did that for you?
This is just a nice gesture that shows your husband that you aren’t keeping score. That
you see he is doing what he can handle and you want to make his load a little easier
and how much you care about him.
4. Prioritize your own self care.
Make sure you are filling up your own cup. Exercise, read a good book, treat yourself to a massage, or grab drinks with friends. Find activities that spark joy and leave you feeling energized. When you take care of yourself, you have more to give to your relationship and everything else in your life.
5. Plan a date night.
Keep the spark alive with intentional date nights! Plan (at least) a monthly escape – a favorite restaurant, a concert, a weekend getaway – anything that reignites your connection. Location doesn’t matter as much as the quality time you spend together. Even a cozy night in can be special but make sure you are kid free in order to concentrate on your connection and intimacy.
6. Let’s talk about sex, baby!
Let's be honest, after a long day with the kids, sex might not be the first thing on your mind. It's completely understandable to feel touched out! But here's the thing - intimacy with your partner can be a form of connection and stress relief.
I know you are constantly meeting everybody else’s needs and this sometimes feels like it’s ‘just one more thing I have to do and one more need I have to meet.”
I hear you, I’ve been there many times but, you need to stop this narrative in your head. Sex is not a chore. Sex is connection, love, and stress relief. Trust me, once you get into it, you will be happy you did! No one has ever said, I wish I didn’t just have that orgasm!
7. Stop doing that thing that annoys your husband.
We all have those little habits that drive our partners crazy. For me, it was leaving empty seltzer cans scattered around the house. My husband would pick my single seltzer can out of a disaster on the counter, and it used to drive me crazy! I felt enraged that he'd focus on one can when the whole place was trashed.
Then, I had a realization. I wouldn't want him to shrug off a habit that bothered me, so why should I do the same? We're a team, and a little effort from both of us can make a big difference.
Now, I make a conscious effort to toss those empty cans directly into the recycling bin. Most of the time, at least, unless he’s annoying me! (kidding of course)
What's your "seltzer can" habit? This story is a reminder that small changes can make a big difference in our relationships. What little habits could you or your partner adjust to create a more harmonious home environment?
8. Think about what you would love if your husband did for you and do it for him.
Spicing up your relationship doesn't always require grand gestures. Sometimes, the sweetest moments come from surprising your partner with something you know they'd appreciate.
Think back – what makes you feel loved? Maybe it's a compliment, a heartfelt hug, or taking a chore off your plate. Now, flip the script! What small act of kindness could brighten your partner's day? It could be anything:
Offering a back rub after a long day.
Picking up their favorite after-work drink.
Scheduling some "alone time" for them to relax or pursue a hobby.
Let them watch their favorite sports game without interruptions
The key is to be thoughtful and show you're paying attention. Chances are, your partner has similar needs and will appreciate the gesture. These small acts of love can spark a positive cycle of appreciation and strengthen your bond.
Remember, this goes both ways! Talk openly about what makes each other feel loved and valued. Little surprises can go a long way in keeping the spark alive.
9. If you are having an argument, try and see if from your husband’s perspective even if you know you are right.
Arguments are a normal part of any relationship. The key is managing them constructively. Here are some tips:
Take a time-out: If emotions are running high, it's okay to take a break and cool down. Go for a walk, scream into a pillow, heck, beat it up if it'll make you feel better, go into your car and blast music, or do whatever helps you calm down.
Focus on solutions: When you're calm, come back to the issue with a goal of understanding and compromise. Avoid blaming language and focus on "I" statements ("I feel frustrated when..." vs. “ always..."). Truly try and see it through your partner's eyes.
Acknowledge your part: Even if you feel justified, consider if there's something you could have done differently.
Keep it respectful: Maintain a respectful tone throughout the discussion.
Work towards a solution: Focus on finding a compromise that works for both of you.
Remember, a healthy relationship isn't about "winning" arguments. It's about open communication, respect, and a willingness to find common ground. And last, but certainly not least. Have amazing make up sex!
10. Have fun!
Try and sneak in fun in everything you do. The smallest acts of fun and connection can make a big difference!
While making dinner, put on your favorite music, grab your man and start dancing. Make sure you are connecting whenever you can.
Your husband is sitting at the dining room table helping kids with homework. Walk over to him, wrap your arms around him and snuggle into his neck. Give him a small kiss and off you go.
Leave silly love notes for each other or send a flirty itext while in the same room. These actions don’t have to be huge outpourings of affection, just little contact throughout the day to keep you connected, having fun and showing your love for one another.
Spicing things up with these small gestures will keep your relationship feeling playful and connected, even amidst the daily grind.
Remember, every couple is unique. Find what keeps the spark alive and the laughter flowing!
